


Fragile

by SassyTabris



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, McHanzo Week 2016, in which mccree buys a fucking leg lamp, this is a really big reference to A Christmas Story (1983)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8914735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyTabris/pseuds/SassyTabris
Summary: It must be Italian.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is short I apologize.

“Absolutely not.” 

“C’mon, darlin’, look at it, it’s the pinnacle of style!” 

“You and I clearly have differing opinions on what ‘style’ means.” Hanzo huffed, narrowing his eyes at the offending item in question. McCree had come home with a box half his size, saying he’d found it while off on mission. He’d had a gut feeling that whatever his cowboy had found was terrible, but god, he’d never expected _this_ disgusting thing. 

It was a lamp. Not just any lamp, either. It was one of those tacky leg lamps, fishnet stockings and all. It must’ve been an antique, by the looks of how faded it’s outer plastic was, but Hanzo honestly wondered what store in their right mind would sell such an item, regardless of how old it was. The lamp looked like it belonged back in the nineteen seventies, not two thousand seventy-six!

“Aw, you’ll get used to ‘er!” McCree cooed as he put the offending item down on the shelf closest to the window. God, that thing was going to be visible from the other side of the road, wasn’t it? “She’s a mighty fine lamp.”

“I do not want that thing in my house, Jesse.” The archer groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s hideous and, frankly, disturbing.”

“How do ya mean, sugar?” His cowboy asked, kneeling to plug in the leg lamp. It took all of Hanzo’s willpower not to punch that thing to the ground; it wasn’t worth the waste of money or the inevitable fight that would follow its demise. 

“Jesse, it is literally the disembodied leg of a streetwalker. How you don’t see how ridiculous this is, it is beyond me,” He said, eyes narrowing as his husband finally managed to plug the damned thing in. Somehow it was even worse when it was lit up. “Why do you find this so interesting, anyway? I thought you prefered cow-patterns?” 

“Well, hon, I know ya don’t like those much either.” That was true. Hanzo despised their couch. “Plus, I bought it fer me! It’s just a novelty item, sweetpea, no need to get yer hair in a twist over it.”

“I realize you bought it for yourself. It would be a poor gift to give me.” 

“Oh, hush yer mouth. My gift fer ya this year is gonna be the best you’ve ever seen! Nothin’ like this ol’ lamp here.” The cowboy grinned, gently tapping the lampshade.

“So you admit it’s in poor taste, then?”

“Don’t push yer luck, Han.” McCree huffed, still grinning like a fool as he wandered close and hugged him tightly, kissing him on the cheek. “‘Sides, it’s pretty damn funny.”   
Hanzo rolled his eyes, leaning against him. 

“If it is not hidden away before Genji visits tomorrow, or when the children return from school, I am divorcing you.” McCree gasped at his words, covering his heart with his metallic hand. 

“Darlin’, ya don’t mean that!”

“No, I don’t, but the threat still remains, Jesse McCree.” Hanzo replied with a steady voice, though the slight smirk playing on his lips showed his true amusement. “I will happily change my surname back to Shimada if you let my brother see this monstrosity.”

“Ugh, fine. I guess ya gotta point, anyway. Little fuck would probably break it to spite me.” He grumbled, resting his chin on Hanzo’s shoulder. “... After he leaves, I’m putting it right back up, ya hear?”

“Yes, Jesse, I hear you.” Hanzo laughed softly, kissing his cheek. “Where would our home be without your ridiculous choice in decor?”

“Probably lookin’ more spartan than yer room back at base, Han.” 

“... Most likely, yes.”

“Glad we’re in agreement, darlin’.”


End file.
